I have a confession…
On the night of our prom, my friends and I decided to go have fun instead of being all fancy at some dance. We went go-kart riding and to the batting cages.
Then we went to my best friend’s girlfriend’s house to get drunk. It was Me, my girlfriend, my best friend, her girlfriend, Nicole, Madelin, Louis, and Melissa eventually.
I was drunk and ended up clinging to my girlfriend most of the night.
Once, she got up to do something and left me on the couch by myself. My best friend came over and sat next to me. I don’t remember why, or what she was saying to me. Or even what was going on. Maybe I hugged her. I’m not sure. She was drunk. I was drunk.
All I remember was our eyes meeting for what felt like hours. Without warning, I feel my body lean closer to her. Part of me realized that I was about to kiss her and stopped. I thought of my girlfriend and knew that my simple desire to experience a kiss from a girl I once wished to marry could turn it to something really wrong really fast. No matter the longing, no matter the wishing, no matter the craving, no matter the opportunity presenting itself bluntly to me, I could not hurt my girlfriend.
Though, she was drunk, I think my best friend sensed something. It’s like we had a connection without words and understood how I felt. She got up, but before leaving she kissed me on my forehead. I tried to remember any other time she had done that. None came to mind.
I wonder if she was feeling the way I was feeling in that moment. I might just be crazy, but part of me believes that she actually WANTED me to kiss her in that moment… :/